Perhaps because I’m in one, I’m attracted to fiction about long relationships which are as different from each other as the couples involved. I included a post in my Five Books I’ve Read series and could probably write several more on the theme. Acclaimed Swedish writer Moa Herngren’s The Divorce explores the end of a marriage which has survived three decades from both points of view.
Every fibre of her being is against packing up the kitchen; it’s impossible. All those things belong together, just like she and Niklas do. The two of them, together with the girls. The family.
Bea and Niklas began their relationship in the shadow of Bea’s beloved brother’s suicide. Jacob had been Niklas’ best friend, almost part of the family, enjoying summers on Gotland with Niklas’ bohemian parents. Their marriage grew out of comfort and protection, Niklas accepting Bea’s decision to take a rewarding but low paid job after their twin daughters went to school. He’s a paediatrician, recently accepting a promotion to a more managerial role with all the stress that entails, overcoming his reluctance in the face of mounting debt accumulated through Bea’s insistence on high end home improvements. When Bea discovers that Niklas has forgotten to book their ferry tickets to her beloved Gotland, she lets out a tirade of complaint prompting him to walk out of the apartment, not for the first time. When he hasn’t returned by the morning, Bea sets about tracking him down. She knows they have their rough times, but their marriage is a good one, full of shared history rooted in their love for Alma and Alexia, and her adoration of his family so different from her own parents but as the next few days progress with barely any communication from Niklas, it’s clear that this is more serious. By next summer both Bea and Niklas’ lives have changed in ways neither could have expected.
He is so unused to being alone, without his family, that it’s almost intoxicating. Sitting here on the sand, in silence, without anyone needing him. Without anyone making demands on him.
Herngren tells the couple’s story in three parts beginning with Bea, shocked then disbelieving, before switching to Niklas then bringing them together in the final section. It’s a structure that works well. Bea’s utter conviction that her marriage is unassailable together with the demands she puts upon Nicklas and her seeming inability to put her children first make her an unsympathetic character for much of the novel. She’s a woman who has made herself almost entirely dependent on her husband and his family, seemingly more in love with them than she is with him. Niklas suffers from a guilt whose root we find out some way into the novel, and a huge sense of responsibility, perhaps as a result, coupled with an inability to assert himself, a crushing pressure from which he manages to finally crawl out from beneath. Disappointingly, I found myself taking sides fairly quickly which I’d been expecting to be more difficult, hoping for a more even-handed treatment of the relationship. That said, I enjoyed Herngren’s novel and would be happy to read another.
Manilla Press London 9781786583741 288 pages Hardback (read via NetGalley)
Interesting. Many books with divorce at the heart either seem to be fairly even-handed, or else to have one out-and-out villain. I’ll see if I can give this one an outing.
The changes in perspective with this one worked very well but felt it was a bit too weighted in one direction.
Sounds interesting. Not a writer I’m familiar with.
Me, neither. Definitely worth reading if it’s a theme that interests you.
When I had to choose my counselling specialty, other students were leaning toward couples counselling. I was firm about the fact that I’d do anything but that, because I was sure I wouldn’t be able to stay impartial. Truly, how can you not take sides?! Every time I speak to an individual client about relationship issues to this day, it affirms my decision to stay well away from couples counselling – I can’t help but take my client’s side (rather, advocate for them). Nevertheless, I LOVE LOVE LOVE stories told from the perspective of couples for this very reason – on whose side will I fall? Will hunt this book down.
I can absolutely understand that even as a classic ‘on the one hand, on the other hand’ indecisive person! I’d be interested to see how you get on with this one.
I cannot read any book with “every fibre of her being.” I understand this is a translation, but …
It is, but we all have our pet phrase hates!
Good review. I may try this one
Thank you. Hope you enjoy it if you do.
I also love books about long term relationships, marriage, divorce, etc. This sounded really intriguing until the part about the rather one-sided sympathy it provoked. Like you, I much prefer stories where both parties have strong reasons to act as they do, and you can ponder the dilemma. Alison Laurie used to be good at that sort of thing!
I think they hold a particular fascination for those of us in long relationships. I tend to think that there’s something to be said for both sides, and while that was the case on this novel it felt weighted in one direction.
I’m currently reading Liars by Sarah Manguso, which explores a failing relationship and I’m finding parts of it quite tiresome, simply because I feel like I am being asked to take a certain side. Shame this wasn’t more even-handed.
Interesting! I enjoyed The Liars more although I’m very taken by her writing.
I like the style very much and I think it’s working but sometimes I just want her to leave him! Only half way through so I’m reserving judgement.
Keeping schtum!
I’ve just read this too. I came down on one side too, and not the one I expected really. I enjoyed it.
I think I wanted to be left undecided. And same for me – I wonder if we both picked the same side.
Definitely one I would enjoy too! And of course the kitchen IS always the hardest room when it comes to packing house. Especially if one has to divide things evenly and pack for a second home that isn’t your own.
Most important room in the house!
I think I’d enjoy this, although like you I’d refer a more even approach.
I’d like to have been left in a state of indecision at least until closer to the end.
I’m wondering if I’m already starting to take sides based on your review
Oh, no! I’d hoped to hide my bias but looks like I’ve failed.
Just finished this and loved it. Having been through a divorce with two children I could definitely relate to elements of how stressful the process can be.
Lovely to hear from you, Helen, and glad this one hit the spot. I’d certainly read another by her.